Saturday, January 29, 2011

February 6, 2011

This is the day I'll start my formal belly dancing lessons. I decided three weeks ago that I am going to THROW myself into belly dancing. I've been interested in it for years, but since my ex-husband was Egyptian I never got into it because I was afraid that I'd be criticized. Well that was then and this is now. I'm so excited about this. I've been watching/dancing with countless youtube videos and my own dvds that I've had for years that were never used. Every time I practice I feel SO connected to my body and I feel that I'm reconnecting with my femininity. I've developed quite the protective shell and I really want to break that. I'm a woman and I want to be woman. I don't need to be the tough-guy anymore. There is no reason for it. I've demonstrated my strength. Now I want to celebrate me as a woman - a sweet, funny, loving, kind, beautiful woman.

There is a competition in town exactly 6 months to the day that I start my lessons. Could I be good enough to compete by then? Truly don't know if that's too much to hope for, but I know that I need this and that this will help to bridge the gap from where I am to where I want to be.

I hope this blog will challenge me to stick with it when it gets hard. It will. I have no formal dance experience other than shaking my ass at clubs in my late teens/early twenties. I will feel clumsy. I will feel uncoordinated. I will feel ridiculous at times. That will pass. I just have to stick with it. I hope that I triumph over all the difficulties and can inspire other women who have "given up" to step up and try something that is a bit intimidating, but ultimately life-changing.